Client Carter left treatment tonight. Unfortunately, it may have been the fault of some of our staff. First: Back story.
Carter is gay. He had told one counselor, Sara, about this, and she told me, but that’s the most I had ever heard about it before tonight. Carter was officially assigned to Ronda as a counselor during his stay here. He had not told any of the clients or other staff about his sexuality, and even took steps to mask it: talking to the women, talking about the women’s bodies, etc. So, within the span of a single conversation with Sara, I had gone from thinking he was a grubby little perv, to thinking he was pitiful for attempting to overcompensate. The overacting was totally unnecessary. We have some very raunchy clients, and even they steal a glance here and there, or make eye contact, but they never lay it on as thick as Carter did.
Ken (Busy Buddy) had also come to me earlier and said that he felt like leaving. He said that he was anxious and depressed thinking about not being at home for Christmas and not being able to use drugs in celebration as he usually does. He came to me later on and told me that he was being picked on by the other men because his feet / shoes stink and he doesn’t wear name brand clothes. He was prepared to leave because of the comments and jokes.
As I was locking up the first floor of the building, Charles, another counselor, called me up to the second floor. When I got there, Carter was just about done packing his suitcase. A few other clients, along with Carter’s roommates, attempted to get him to stay, but he was not to be persuaded. I lead him to an office phone where I gave his mother directions to come and pick him up. Ken came into the office attempting to explain to Ronda and Charles where Carter was coming from, having been picked on quite a bit himself most of that day. Ronda seemed to ignore Ken and continued to ask Carter directly why he was leaving. He said that he had told her about the name-calling and jokes and she had done nothing about it, so he was fed up and wanted to go.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ronda responded. I don't know if Ronda said this as a hook to get Carter to stay and explain, or if she really didn't remember him telling her about being ridiculed. After all was said and done, Charles told me that he thought that Carter would have used any excuse to leave. I escorted Carter to the back door of the building. On the way he told me that he had told Ronda (along with other staff) that this had been happening and no one had done anything to stop it. He was not going to stay in a treatment center and be picked on for the next thirty (plus) days. I told him that I understood, pointed him in the direction of the nearest pay phone, and bid him a good night and a merry Christmas as I released him into the fray.
I went back upstairs to take the nightly headcount, the atmosphere still charged with a whisper-thin kiss of chaos resolved. When I got to Ken’s room, which he wasn’t sharing with anyone, I found him with the light on, sitting in the chair next to his bed with his head in his hands. His face screamed confusion, frustration, and fear, but all he said was, “Yeah?”
I asked him if he would stay. He said he would. I thanked him and closed his door.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Busy Buddy's Back
That's right. We have another relapse victim. And it's not all roses and puppies this time. Apparantly Ken has been beating on his wife and eldest daughter. I believe they are in the midst of getting a divorce. Besides seeing this information in his file, Ken himself does not seem very different. He's still relatively happy and sociable, as he's always been. He has kept his distance from me a little more this first day he's been back, but that could just be the marijuana working out of his system. He confessed to me that he'd smoked a joint the night before while staying at an acquaintance's home. As of now, he's technically homeless. No one in his family will take him in, so he's been living with near-strangers since he relapsed.
He's got three kids, a wife (who's also in treatment), and since he's not even old enough to buy beer yet, I think that he's done a lot so far and it sucks that he's throwing it all away over drugs / his disease has gotten to this point.
Another tasty slice of pie in this equation is that Gordina, his wife's sister, has also come into the same treatment facility. She recognized him and told me all about the domestic violence that I'd read about. She said that she too was being physically abused by her husband, but she was in the midst of divorcing him. It sounds to me like some family sessions need to be held. But I'm not out of grad school yet, so my opinion doesn't really count now does it?
I don't know how having two people on opposite ends of the same bad situation is going to play out the rest of this week at work, but I hope it doesn't get too crazy. Two people quit this week, and now I and the remaining techs have to pick up the slack (we only have somewhere around nine people left to supervise over 30 inpatient clients 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and let's not forget that Christmas and New Year's Day are coming up).
One notion I want to address for a second is the idea of me being a 'buddy' to a domestic violence perpetrator. I am not here to judge anyone. It's not my place. All I am present to do is help Ken with his drug problem. The hope is that getting him sober will take care of all the other problems that he's having in his life. I don't want him to be a danger to himself and his family, so I want him in places where he can get the help that he needs. I'm not going to give up on him just because he's doing something I don't agree with. That would be very un-social worker-esque (yes, I made that up all by myself).
He's got three kids, a wife (who's also in treatment), and since he's not even old enough to buy beer yet, I think that he's done a lot so far and it sucks that he's throwing it all away over drugs / his disease has gotten to this point.
Another tasty slice of pie in this equation is that Gordina, his wife's sister, has also come into the same treatment facility. She recognized him and told me all about the domestic violence that I'd read about. She said that she too was being physically abused by her husband, but she was in the midst of divorcing him. It sounds to me like some family sessions need to be held. But I'm not out of grad school yet, so my opinion doesn't really count now does it?
I don't know how having two people on opposite ends of the same bad situation is going to play out the rest of this week at work, but I hope it doesn't get too crazy. Two people quit this week, and now I and the remaining techs have to pick up the slack (we only have somewhere around nine people left to supervise over 30 inpatient clients 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and let's not forget that Christmas and New Year's Day are coming up).
One notion I want to address for a second is the idea of me being a 'buddy' to a domestic violence perpetrator. I am not here to judge anyone. It's not my place. All I am present to do is help Ken with his drug problem. The hope is that getting him sober will take care of all the other problems that he's having in his life. I don't want him to be a danger to himself and his family, so I want him in places where he can get the help that he needs. I'm not going to give up on him just because he's doing something I don't agree with. That would be very un-social worker-esque (yes, I made that up all by myself).
Friday, November 21, 2008
Roundtrip Ticket
Client Mary has had, what SHE called, a 'relapse'. She had sex with one of her partners that she decided she was going to have no contact with at all: no texting, no talking, no emails, no meeting up, no snail mail, no smoke signals--nothing. And yet, she's done it again. I really wouldn't care one way or the other if it weren't for the fact that she seems to be deeply in love with this antagonist 'Bryan'. But, to him, she is quite obviously just someone to have sex with, nothing more, nothing less. Unfortunately, he is someone who lies, manipulates, and steals heavily. The last time he was at her house (before the 'relapse') he stole about $500 worth of electronics (a Wii complete with about six games and two nanchaku controllers); he consistently uses the proverbial "this is more than sex" spiel to get into her pants; and she has no idea how many sexual partners he actually has, but the women that he is romantically involved with manifest themselves in text messages and angry voice mails. There's only been one physical confrontation in which Mary was found out to be the 'other woman', luckily that merely ended in Mary's phone being chucked from a second story window and broken.
On my end, of course, I cannot fathom why anyone would stay in a "relationship" that causes so much trouble. Sure, she has her sexual escapades on the side, but Bryan is a pretty invariable force in her life, so everything always comes back to him. That's kind of where my 'love' diagnosis comes from. Then again, it could be desperation. Bryan knows all of her sexual likes and dislikes, so she doesn't have to tell him every time she has sex with him what she wants him to do. She is a relatively lazy person, and having sex with new people all the time means she has to start all over with her communication of her desires.
So, here we are at another standstill. I'm just waiting to see how this all unfolds. I'll still be there for her to talk it out with. But every solution she has come up with to help her meet her goal of not being a slut anymore, hasn't worked. There doesn't seem to be any scaring her either. She's already gotten one disease that could've been something else, something much worse; she's not afraid of becoming pregnant, though she can barely take care of herself; and these women that mysteriously pop up that Bryan has lied about being involved with (for some reason unbeknownst to me) don't make her worry for her physical safety. It seems like a no-brainer when I weigh these possible outcomes against MAYBE 20 minutes of sexual intercourse.
On my end, of course, I cannot fathom why anyone would stay in a "relationship" that causes so much trouble. Sure, she has her sexual escapades on the side, but Bryan is a pretty invariable force in her life, so everything always comes back to him. That's kind of where my 'love' diagnosis comes from. Then again, it could be desperation. Bryan knows all of her sexual likes and dislikes, so she doesn't have to tell him every time she has sex with him what she wants him to do. She is a relatively lazy person, and having sex with new people all the time means she has to start all over with her communication of her desires.
So, here we are at another standstill. I'm just waiting to see how this all unfolds. I'll still be there for her to talk it out with. But every solution she has come up with to help her meet her goal of not being a slut anymore, hasn't worked. There doesn't seem to be any scaring her either. She's already gotten one disease that could've been something else, something much worse; she's not afraid of becoming pregnant, though she can barely take care of herself; and these women that mysteriously pop up that Bryan has lied about being involved with (for some reason unbeknownst to me) don't make her worry for her physical safety. It seems like a no-brainer when I weigh these possible outcomes against MAYBE 20 minutes of sexual intercourse.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Boomerangs
I was at work and ran into a client that had been there before, when I first started. She and I always had a good relationship, but that didn't mean I wanted her to come back.
I told her as much and she said she just 'fucked up' again. I told her it was alright. At least she was here and not in prison, still using, or dead. I understand that, working in this field, there will be plenty of recidivism. You should get a grasp on that too if you're serious about being a social worker. Whether you want to work for domestic violence victims, foster child services, or many of the other fields that social workers grace, you will have to deal with people that don't 'get it' on the first try, and even people that never 'get it'.
Unfortunately, I also saw a girl I used to go to school with be admitted. This was rather shocking. She's a little younger than me, probably about nineteen, so I was on my way to college when she was entering high school, but I remember seeing her around quite a bit because she used to hang out with my younger cousin, who also went to the same school as I did.
I don't know her well enough to gauge whether or not she fell off a high horse, or finally admitted she had a long-standing problem and crawled up from the gutter, but, again, at least she's somewhere that can give her some sort of aid with her addiction.
I told her as much and she said she just 'fucked up' again. I told her it was alright. At least she was here and not in prison, still using, or dead. I understand that, working in this field, there will be plenty of recidivism. You should get a grasp on that too if you're serious about being a social worker. Whether you want to work for domestic violence victims, foster child services, or many of the other fields that social workers grace, you will have to deal with people that don't 'get it' on the first try, and even people that never 'get it'.
Unfortunately, I also saw a girl I used to go to school with be admitted. This was rather shocking. She's a little younger than me, probably about nineteen, so I was on my way to college when she was entering high school, but I remember seeing her around quite a bit because she used to hang out with my younger cousin, who also went to the same school as I did.
I don't know her well enough to gauge whether or not she fell off a high horse, or finally admitted she had a long-standing problem and crawled up from the gutter, but, again, at least she's somewhere that can give her some sort of aid with her addiction.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Busy Buddy
I work at an addictions treatment facility. My facility focuses on drugs, not gambling, sex, or other types of addictions. I am what you might call a...chemical dependency technician (bet that'll look good on a résumé, right?). Basically, I babysit the clients while I'm there, usually second shift which is from about 2:30p.m. until 10:30p.m., which is when all the clients go to bed.
There's a client that is here now we'll call 'Ken'. I really like Ken. He's funny, not unintelligent, and a relatively happy person. (Un)Fortunately he doesn't quite have what it takes to sit still. He's usually up and moving, whether it's following me around, out in the courtyard playing ping pong, or sitting at a table and making people laugh, he is definitely not my definition of 'mellow'. But that's alright, for the most part, since I'm only with him four days out of the week.
My issue is whether or not he and I are spending too much time together. Are we getting too "buddy-buddy"? Do the other clients feel put off by the fact that I spend the majority of my time talking through his problems with him? How do the other staff members feel about the way I treat him? Have they even noticed? Do they care at all?
I'm not exactly frantic over this, but it was a thought that had run through my head a couple of times during the past few days. I don't think I'll worry about it too much. Especially since he'll be leaving before the week is up. He's got a job and a half-way house room set up and waiting for him. I'm proud of the progress he's made, but I still think he has a long way to go. He allows himself to get upset over the most trivial things entirely too easily. He talks back to staff a lot when they attempt to correct or reprimand his behavior.
But he, and all the other clients, never treat me this way. When I ask them to do something, it gets done. The difference may lie in the fact that I try to be as respectful towards the clients as I can. I've noticed that a lot of the other staff members never think the clients are innocently enjoying themselves no matter what they may (not) be doing, and they speak to the clients as if they are rude pets or disobedient children. I told my supervisor before she actually hired me that I thought that I might be a bit too trusting for the job, but she didn't seem to think that it was a big problem.
Well, I've got a three month review coming up in a few weeks. Hopefully I won't be let go. I've been told that I would have to be attempting termination in order to actually be fired, but (unbeknownst to other staff) that's a task I'm overqualified for.
There's a client that is here now we'll call 'Ken'. I really like Ken. He's funny, not unintelligent, and a relatively happy person. (Un)Fortunately he doesn't quite have what it takes to sit still. He's usually up and moving, whether it's following me around, out in the courtyard playing ping pong, or sitting at a table and making people laugh, he is definitely not my definition of 'mellow'. But that's alright, for the most part, since I'm only with him four days out of the week.
My issue is whether or not he and I are spending too much time together. Are we getting too "buddy-buddy"? Do the other clients feel put off by the fact that I spend the majority of my time talking through his problems with him? How do the other staff members feel about the way I treat him? Have they even noticed? Do they care at all?
I'm not exactly frantic over this, but it was a thought that had run through my head a couple of times during the past few days. I don't think I'll worry about it too much. Especially since he'll be leaving before the week is up. He's got a job and a half-way house room set up and waiting for him. I'm proud of the progress he's made, but I still think he has a long way to go. He allows himself to get upset over the most trivial things entirely too easily. He talks back to staff a lot when they attempt to correct or reprimand his behavior.
But he, and all the other clients, never treat me this way. When I ask them to do something, it gets done. The difference may lie in the fact that I try to be as respectful towards the clients as I can. I've noticed that a lot of the other staff members never think the clients are innocently enjoying themselves no matter what they may (not) be doing, and they speak to the clients as if they are rude pets or disobedient children. I told my supervisor before she actually hired me that I thought that I might be a bit too trusting for the job, but she didn't seem to think that it was a big problem.
Well, I've got a three month review coming up in a few weeks. Hopefully I won't be let go. I've been told that I would have to be attempting termination in order to actually be fired, but (unbeknownst to other staff) that's a task I'm overqualified for.
Nympho-maybe
Client 'Mary' is a young, reasonably attractive female. For whatever reason, she in constitutionally incapable of refusing a sexual advance (or so it seems). We have worked on her situation to the point that she has sloughed off the people that only hung around her in order to have sex with her, or at least have her at the ready when they wanted to have sex. She was recently diagnosed with chlamydia, which she recieved from one of her partners who was/is in a 'committed' relationship. She has stopped engaging in sexual activity for a couple of weeks now, or at least that is what she tells me. She's finished her medication for chlamydia, and is once again in good health.
I had her outline some of the goals that she wanted to accomplish in her life. Her first is to stop "being a slut" as she put it. The second was to find a 'better' job than the factory position she holds now. And the third was to go back to school. She's already gotten one of those 'career certificates' from some overpriced, private institution, but she says she wants a "real" degree like I have.
I'm afraid for her because she's never really examined her life in this way before. She's never set any realistic goals and tried to acheive them. Up until these past few weeks, she was the type of person that just sort of 'let' things happen to her. She wasn't an active participant in her own existence. I find this rather peculiar, but I'm certain there are plenty of other people that do the same thing.
I'll be keeping a careful eye on her, of course. I don't want her to go back to her old lifestyle if that doesn't make her happy. From a personal standpoint, I think this is the way to go. I would love for her to find a decent guy that's really interested in the less physical contributions she can make to his life and the relationship as a whole. But, it'll be just my luck that after seeing her into this new mode of living, she'll be hit with another huge obstacle like domestic violence. *Sigh* Why me?
I had her outline some of the goals that she wanted to accomplish in her life. Her first is to stop "being a slut" as she put it. The second was to find a 'better' job than the factory position she holds now. And the third was to go back to school. She's already gotten one of those 'career certificates' from some overpriced, private institution, but she says she wants a "real" degree like I have.
I'm afraid for her because she's never really examined her life in this way before. She's never set any realistic goals and tried to acheive them. Up until these past few weeks, she was the type of person that just sort of 'let' things happen to her. She wasn't an active participant in her own existence. I find this rather peculiar, but I'm certain there are plenty of other people that do the same thing.
I'll be keeping a careful eye on her, of course. I don't want her to go back to her old lifestyle if that doesn't make her happy. From a personal standpoint, I think this is the way to go. I would love for her to find a decent guy that's really interested in the less physical contributions she can make to his life and the relationship as a whole. But, it'll be just my luck that after seeing her into this new mode of living, she'll be hit with another huge obstacle like domestic violence. *Sigh* Why me?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Welcome! (I guess...)
For those of you who think you might want to be social workers, for those of you who laugh at the thought that anyone would ever want to be a social worker, and everyone in between. I'm going to take you along with me through my two years of graduate school and the remainder of the time that I will have to 'gain experience' in the field of social work. It's so frustrating-rewarding that it's enough to make you pull your hair out. I'll keep you posted on all the happenings.
NOTE: This blog won't just focus on the professional aspects of my life. If there's something from my personal life that I can tie in, I will.
Thanks for thinking.
WW
NOTE: This blog won't just focus on the professional aspects of my life. If there's something from my personal life that I can tie in, I will.
Thanks for thinking.
WW
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