The Flight Before Christmas

Client Carter left treatment tonight. Unfortunately, it may have been the fault of some of our staff. First: Back story.

Carter is gay. He had told one counselor, Sara, about this, and she told me, but that’s the most I had ever heard about it before tonight. Carter was officially assigned to Ronda as a counselor during his stay here. He had not told any of the clients or other staff about his sexuality, and even took steps to mask it: talking to the women, talking about the women’s bodies, etc. So, within the span of a single conversation with Sara, I had gone from thinking he was a grubby little perv, to thinking he was pitiful for attempting to overcompensate. The overacting was totally unnecessary. We have some very raunchy clients, and even they steal a glance here and there, or make eye contact, but they never lay it on as thick as Carter did.

Ken (Busy Buddy) had also come to me earlier and said that he felt like leaving. He said that he was anxious and depressed thinking about not being at home for Christmas and not being able to use drugs in celebration as he usually does. He came to me later on and told me that he was being picked on by the other men because his feet / shoes stink and he doesn’t wear name brand clothes. He was prepared to leave because of the comments and jokes.

As I was locking up the first floor of the building, Charles, another counselor, called me up to the second floor. When I got there, Carter was just about done packing his suitcase. A few other clients, along with Carter’s roommates, attempted to get him to stay, but he was not to be persuaded. I lead him to an office phone where I gave his mother directions to come and pick him up. Ken came into the office attempting to explain to Ronda and Charles where Carter was coming from, having been picked on quite a bit himself most of that day. Ronda seemed to ignore Ken and continued to ask Carter directly why he was leaving. He said that he had told her about the name-calling and jokes and she had done nothing about it, so he was fed up and wanted to go.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ronda responded. I don't know if Ronda said this as a hook to get Carter to stay and explain, or if she really didn't remember him telling her about being ridiculed. After all was said and done, Charles told me that he thought that Carter would have used any excuse to leave. I escorted Carter to the back door of the building. On the way he told me that he had told Ronda (along with other staff) that this had been happening and no one had done anything to stop it. He was not going to stay in a treatment center and be picked on for the next thirty (plus) days. I told him that I understood, pointed him in the direction of the nearest pay phone, and bid him a good night and a merry Christmas as I released him into the fray.

I went back upstairs to take the nightly headcount, the atmosphere still charged with a whisper-thin kiss of chaos resolved. When I got to Ken’s room, which he wasn’t sharing with anyone, I found him with the light on, sitting in the chair next to his bed with his head in his hands. His face screamed confusion, frustration, and fear, but all he said was, “Yeah?”

I asked him if he would stay. He said he would. I thanked him and closed his door.

Busy Buddy's Back

That's right. We have another relapse victim. And it's not all roses and puppies this time. Apparantly Ken has been beating on his wife and eldest daughter. I believe they are in the midst of getting a divorce. Besides seeing this information in his file, Ken himself does not seem very different. He's still relatively happy and sociable, as he's always been. He has kept his distance from me a little more this first day he's been back, but that could just be the marijuana working out of his system. He confessed to me that he'd smoked a joint the night before while staying at an acquaintance's home. As of now, he's technically homeless. No one in his family will take him in, so he's been living with near-strangers since he relapsed.

He's got three kids, a wife (who's also in treatment), and since he's not even old enough to buy beer yet, I think that he's done a lot so far and it sucks that he's throwing it all away over drugs / his disease has gotten to this point.

Another tasty slice of pie in this equation is that Gordina, his wife's sister, has also come into the same treatment facility. She recognized him and told me all about the domestic violence that I'd read about. She said that she too was being physically abused by her husband, but she was in the midst of divorcing him. It sounds to me like some family sessions need to be held. But I'm not out of grad school yet, so my opinion doesn't really count now does it?

I don't know how having two people on opposite ends of the same bad situation is going to play out the rest of this week at work, but I hope it doesn't get too crazy. Two people quit this week, and now I and the remaining techs have to pick up the slack (we only have somewhere around nine people left to supervise over 30 inpatient clients 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and let's not forget that Christmas and New Year's Day are coming up).

One notion I want to address for a second is the idea of me being a 'buddy' to a domestic violence perpetrator. I am not here to judge anyone. It's not my place. All I am present to do is help Ken with his drug problem. The hope is that getting him sober will take care of all the other problems that he's having in his life. I don't want him to be a danger to himself and his family, so I want him in places where he can get the help that he needs. I'm not going to give up on him just because he's doing something I don't agree with. That would be very un-social worker-esque (yes, I made that up all by myself).